The Travels

Some days, you wake up and you are happy. Today is one of those days. I wish that I could bottle up whatever it is happened while I was sleeping and save it for the "other" days.

A lot of things have happened in my life. Some things I am not so proud of, others I relive every day.  There was a time in my life when I thought I needed a day, year, five year and overall life plan.  I'm not sure that's the way anymore.  It is most often the things that I had no idea I was going to do that have changed me for the best. It is the people I never expected to be important to me, the activities I never dreamed I'd participate in and the feelings I didn't expect that have made all the difference. Most of all the things that I was most afraid to do and was convinced for some reason or another were not "good" for me, are the things that have clearly defined some of the greatest moments in my life.

Every girl can wear a white dress, only a few can wear a national team uniform

As I creep towards the aged spinster, I wonder (a lot) about whether I am making the right decision in pursuing this cycling dream.  A lot of people have asked if I will try to make Rio 2016 if I don’t make London 2012. And the answer is a tentative Yes.

For my entire life I’ve been in pursuit of the “next thing.”  In high school, it was going to a good college. In college, it was doing service and finding a career that I found fulfilling. After college, things got more complicated as there was rarely a “next thing.” So I went back to graduate school, where the next thing became getting a good job.  But then I settled in to the routine of a job and I was unfulfilled. I had friends, and a church that I enjoyed. I had nothing to be unfulfilled about.  But there wasn’t a goal that lies ahead.  And then I stumbled my sorry, unfit butt into development camp and made a pathetic showing at Road Nationals – and BAM! I had a new goal.  I went to track nationals, was selected to go to Track Worlds and now I want to do well at Road Nationals/Parlaympic Trials in Augusta, GA.

Will I make it to London?  Probably not.  The odds are stacked against me.  Six women want one spot.  Am I closer than I was last year at this time?  Of course. I understand what it takes to get a spot, I just need a little more time.  I’ve come leaps and bounds from where I started. Cycling provides me not only with a “next thing,” but also with a way to challenge my body and mind.

What about getting married?  There was a time when this was my goal. I love children and would love to have children of my own. And maybe I should focus on that part of my life more.  But I’d like to believe that there is someone who would understand this crazy obsession and would choose to be a part of it.  Relationships have fallen apart because I am tired from riding, I need recovery time.  I don’t necessarily feel like dressing up and going out on a Saturday after I’ve ridden for five hours. If you don’t understand that part of my life, then you probably don’t belong there. 

And so I return to the title of this post.  Not to belittle or demean getting married, I’d love to get married.  But for now, when I pull on that National Team kit and see what lies ahead (as gruesome and painful as that might be), I’m satisfied without the white dress.

John Paul II

For my birthday I asked for the book of daily thoughts, Love is the Explanation for Everything.  Hidden inside (I didn't know until I was skimming through it), there is a meditation for cyclists.

"The pursuit of sports always reminds us of the ideals of human and Christian virtues, which not only contribute to physical and mental training, but promote and encourage strength and moral and spiritual greatness.  Sports are a school for loyalty, courage, tolerance, will power, solidarity, and team spirit.  All of these natural virtues are, frequently, the foundation upon which other supernatural virtues are consolidated.


In your lives as professional cyclists and in your family and social responsibilities, do not forget to put into practice that series of small and great acts of self-control, simplicity, honesty and respect for others that are in the arena of sports.  Shun all that disloyalty, deceit, and cheating because that degrades your profession and diminished you in the eyes of God."


Speech to the Spanish Cycling Team
June 10, 1985

In researching this statement, I found the John Paul II Foundation for Sport.  As always JPII never fails to disappoint.

It's about what you love

If you have talked to me since Worlds, you know that I struggled with a fantastic case of demotivation and general disdain for everything. I didn't want to ride my bike. I didn't want to look at my bike.  There are a lot of reasons that this happened and I've been working on digging myself out of this hole.

The following blog has some suspect recommendations (esp regarding nutrition), but the guy went to Notre Dame and his posts pop up in my LinkedIn account.

The Myth of Discipline

My favorite part of the article is: "There is no such thing as discipline. There is only love. Love is the most powerful creative force in the universe. You are the result of what you love most. You either love finely etched muscular abs more than donuts or you love donuts more than wash board abs you could do your laundry on. It is as simple as that. Don’t beat yourself up that you have no discipline or further drown yourself in a sea of refined carbs. Admit that you like crappy food more than you love strength."

What is it that you love?  This is the question that I've been asking myself.   Today was the first day in a LONG time that I enjoyed riding my bike. In terms of training, it wasn't a stellar ride.  But in terms of my mind, it was exactly what I need.  After five hours of beautiful weather and great riding, I remembered that I do love riding my bike. And sometime it's not the actual bike riding.  Instead it's loving strength that I feel growing in my legs.  It's loving knowing that I am getting better.  It's loving the desire to be better, feel better and earn my place on the National Team.

The near future requires me to make decisions. I want to let love help me choose the path I take.

Couldn't have said it better myself..

You need a man, not a boy!

If they kill me at camp

I would like to be buried with Pink Bike, Beary and all of my Brady Quinn jerseys.

Other than that, I award my prize possessions to these people:

*  Face Face has requested my iPad.

I will also bequeath my apartment to her so that she can live by the beach for a few months when she moves back (instead of with her parents)

* To N.W. - all of my other Apple possessions, because I know deep down she loves Apple.  She also inherits my Apple Whore status

*  E Train - my vagina - E needs a real one, he already acts like he owns one...so "he" might as well have a real one! (not pictured)

*  Aunt Jewbutt - the four 12-packs of Diet Coke (plus the extra ones that are rolling around) in the back of my car

*  Snatch Hatch - my Prius because no self-respecting liberal should drive an Oldsmobile

Blue Prius

*  T^3 - all of my shmoop inspired nonsense, esp my book of quotes for when you propose to your future wife!

"My heart is and always will be yours." (Sense and Sensibility, Jane Austen)

* Lucia - you can have my hedgehog, Mr. Grumpy Pants. I know you will take care of him!

*  Ding - My new Garmin 500 bundle - you're welcome

*  Ky - you can have all of my books, pretty sure you're the only other family member that reads!

I have two other book cases full of books!

*  Officer Chupadogra - my clothes

You're SO lucky! This is one of my three closets!  Congratulations!

*  Cesar - all of my guide dog stuff

*  Mrs. Pike - my drama, because no one else can handle it!

* The Lovely LAS - I give you my Penis mold because I know you will put it to good use in the future!

*  Mom and Dad (my OTHER mom and dad that live in BFE) - ummm...all of my Notre Dame stuff, because I know that you will treat it respectfully

* My real mom and dad - I'm pretty sure you've dealt with enough of my crap over the years, so as your parting gift, you don't have to anymore!


Anything else is up for grabs!

I wasn't sure who was worthy of my leg lamp!  Any takers?!?!

Now where is that bike?????? Time to get riding!!!!