It's been three weeks since I crashed and broken my collarbone (amongst other things) in the National Championship Crit in Augusta. I would love to say that I have spent those three weeks cementing my commitment to the next four years to Rio. But I'm not sure that's what I've decided and I'm OK with that. That doesn't mean that I haven't been thinking and figuring things out.
I am acutely aware of how blessed I am to have the people in my life that are in my life. I don't remember anything after thinking, "Oh crap, I'm going down," until I woke up in the ambulance. And I woke up next to G. I couldn't have asked for a better person to keep me calm and stay by my side. My coach, my best friend and my parents all took care of me until I was able to take care of myself. I can't put in to words how grateful I am for all of those people.
Since I haven't been allowed to ride my bike I've had a lot of down time, which I am not used to. I've remembered how important having people in my life is to me. The people that I have met over the past year, through US Paralympics and other areas have changed my life. I like the person that I am now much more than the person I was a year ago. I am disappointed that I let my head get beat at Nationals. I want to have a chance to make up for that. I want to be able to say that I rode my bike and won. But I know (kind of) the commitment and sacrifices that come with being able to say that. I need to find who I am as an athlete and capitalize on my strengths instead of taking what works for others as what will work for me.
Tomorrow, I'll go back to the gym since I'm not allowed to ride my bike outside for another three weeks. It isn't going to be pretty considering the fact that I've sat on my rear for three weeks. I want to be resolved that I am going to commit to the bike for the next two years until Greenville. Given the amount of reading I have on my nightside that revolves around learning to ride my bike, you would think I'm quitting my day job sooner rather than later. There are a lot of things to consider. I'll keep you posted...