I've been training relatively hard, given the fact that I broke my collarbone 10 weeks ago. Last weekend we did a Gran Fondo. Ouch. But I felt good. I rode with people who don't know me, and I was able to keep up. The beginning of the week was not so great. But by Wednesday the legs started to come around. Thursday and Friday were OK.
Saturday I rode with my uncle. He was hurt recently and hasn't ridden much and yet, he could have throttled me if he wanted. On a climb that I've done hundreds of times - up to Pepperdine - I was pushing 200w (which is a LOT for me) and yet I was passed by people who just seemed to be soft pedaling up the hill. I get really frustrated when, even though I'm doing well for me, I still get creamed by others.
I want to be good. I want to be fast. I want to keep up with the able-bodied people. I want to belong on the National Team and not be there by accident. I want to do well.
I need to have realistic expectations. I need to give myself credit when I do things well. I need to stop giving a fuck and just ride my damned bike.